Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
