Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize
