I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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