OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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