I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
