Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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