just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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