some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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