Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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