Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
