did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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