whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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