So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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