I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
