chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
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There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He has the fingertips of a God
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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