let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
