My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize