Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
