haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My ass is underappreciated
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
