i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
