it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
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I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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