U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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