so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
you made out with another girl for some wings
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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