I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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