i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
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Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
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i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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