Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
