If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
