Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
