There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
