My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
