I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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