week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
