That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Randomize
