I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize