but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
