Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
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