dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
