Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
