so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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