We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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