you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
