Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
