What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
