Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
