yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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