the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
