I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
