Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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