are you still at the devil's house?
I got chris browned last night
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
