does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
