New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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