i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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