Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
