Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
