how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
