i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
