Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Swine flu is the new snow day.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
