i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
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I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
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Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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