I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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