Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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