OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
