yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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