I hate your face
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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