I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
