Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
